23-year-old refuses to give her 50-year-old coworker a ride home from work after she repeatedly called her stupid: 'She stated that I was being immature and holding a grudge'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Aug 10, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

We've all had that one older coworker who doesn't know what is appropriate and inappropriate to talk about at work. They will say their inner thoughts, no matter how offensive and hostile, and other coworkers will let them get away with it because "They're old" and "They don't know any better." In a perfect world, all employees should be held to the same standard of behavior on the job. There shouldn't be different rules for 21-year-old employees and 55-year-old employees. If anything, they should be the ones who have to adjust their behavior the most! Young employees need to learn that the way they speak with their friends is not the way they speak with their coworkers. Old employees need to learn that they can't behave the same way they did 30 years ago in the workplace. It's not a crime to occasionally mess up and say the wrong thing at work, but if it creates a hostile work environment, it needs to be addressed promptly.

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  • A server stands at a restaurants point of sale
    via Ben Iwara (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • The young woman in this story is struggling at her new job, and her older coworker isn't doing her any favors. She has repeatedly called her stupid and slow. She pressured the younger colleague into doing a rather inconvenient favor for her and accused her of being “too sensitive” when she refused.

  • AITA for not giving an older co worker a ride home?

    I (23 F) have started a new job a few weeks ago and am still learning where everything is and how to do my job. I work in a big store and also have a learning dis ility so it takes me a bit longer to learn things than the average person.
    via u/spookyempress67
  • I work with this one older lady in her 50s who has been training me and unfortunately I messed up a few times yesterday.
    via u/spookyempress67
  • This lady has been working at this store for about 20 years. I was raised by my grandparents and I understand older folks can say things that may come off as offensive even if they don't intentionally mean to.
    via u/spookyempress67
  • An elderly couple smiles for the camera
    via Ben Iwara (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • She laughed at me and told me I have been here a few weeks and shouldn't be making mistakes. She had asked me if I drove myself to work and I said "yes" she continued to laugh again and asked me how I didn't get lost implying again that I'm "slow" lol.
    via u/spookyempress67
  • That really bothered me because as I mentioned above I do have a learning dis ility and I really do try my best at work. She was complaining about me to management telling them that I was too stupid to even function, stop hiring slow (R word) people and that they should fire me.
    via u/spookyempress67
  • Young red haired woman in eyeglasses looking at painting and enjoying the art in the gallery
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • The next time I saw her I explained that I have a learning dis ility and it takes me a little bit of time before I can get things perfect. I also told her that her comments were making me uncomfortable and if there was any way we could move past this.
    via u/spookyempress67
  • She told me that I was being too sensitive and that my generation can't take criticism. I honestly decided to stay away from her and just focus on my job. Some of the comments she was making about me were making me feel uncomfortable.
    via u/spookyempress67
  • I hope I'm not being overly sensitive but I don't appreciate being insulted and verbally abused even after I try to communicate and talk it out like an adult.
    via u/spookyempress67
  • At the end of the shift she followed me to the to the bathrooms and asked me if I could give her a ride home.
    via u/spookyempress67
  • I just told her "not today" and she tried to make me feel guilty because of how old she is and that I was denying an older woman a ride home. She stated that I was being immature and holding a grudge on her because of what she said.
    via u/spookyempress67
  • I walked away from her because | just wanted to go home and not have anymore confrontation. I honestly was not comfortable giving her a ride home, I don't even know this woman. I also wasn't happy with the fact that she insulted me multiple times during the shift and made some comments about me that were uncalled for.
    via u/spookyempress67
  • I try to be kind and help out whoever I can but I'm also not going to go out of my way for someone who has insulted me and made me feel uncomfortable. AITA for denying an older woman a ride home?
    via u/spookyempress67
  • Imchatterbox NTA. You don't get to trash talk somebody then expect a favor from them.
    via u/Imchatterbox
  • IAmFlee Exactly this. If you want a favor from someone, you treat them well. I would have flat out told her the answer is no and it's her attitude towards me that is the reason, and she can think about that on her walk home/bus ride home. NTA
    via u/IAmFlee
  • anonanon-do-do-do "I probably drive too slow for you anyways" NTA.
    via u/anonanon-do-do-do
  • Individual_Metal_983 This woman is not a nice person. She is calling you names and mocking you. That isn't an age thing it's a character thing. You do not have to give someone who is a bu y a lift. (You don't have to give someone nice a lift either). If this behaviour continues you need to speak with a manager or HR if there is one. NTA
    via u/Individual_Metal_983
  • silent-walkerz87 Facts. this isn't about age, it's about basic respect. No one should feel bad for setting a boundary, especially with someone who's been r de and disrespectful all shift. OP was 100% in the right.
    via u/silent-walkerz87
  • Sorry_I_Guess Even if it doesn't continue, she should take it to management or HR. This woman isn't old enough to be excusing any of her ignorance or viciousness with age. She's not elderly, she's in her 50s. H I, I'm 50 and I'm horrified by her. And management needs to know that she's throwing around the r-word and denigrating a fellow employee for their dis lity, because what's to stop her from saying things like that to a customer?
    via u/Sorry_I_Guess
  • OldMotherGrumble Right! She's not 'old' but she's sure as hol old enough to know better. She's of a generation that should be way past such narrow minded and ignorant views. I'm old enough to be her mother...she'd get a mouthful from me for that behaviour.
    via u/OldMotherGrumble
  • HappyHouseplant02 he tried to make me feel guilty because of how old she is and that I was denying an older woman a ride home. She's in her 50's, not 80's/90's - she can manage on her own. Plus, it's rich of her to demand a ride from the person she constantly insults. NTA in any way.
    via u/HappyHouseplant02
  • SmallHeath555 NTA and she is creating something called a hostile work environment. You need to tell your manager because she is not allowed to talk to you that way and should be reprimanded.
    via u/SmallHeath555
  • booboo773 Well apparently she's the slow one if she hasn't learned in all these years that actions have consequences.
    via u/booboo773

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terrible coworkers ride jobs job retail middle aged retail worker work coworkers reddit story driving karen coworker reddit thread Reddit coworker
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